Workout

by Jonathan Wallace 

The unspoken rule is that you don’t speak when you’re changing in the locker room. Just don’t. And this guy doesn’t say a word. But what’s with the nod?  

I’m six feet if I’m an inch, but I don’t think the nurse measured me right last week when I went to my first doctor’s appointment in this new town. New to me. Come to think of it, she didn’t take the time to weigh me right either. The scale in the gym locker room is electronic. None of those sliding weights. According to this, I gained six pounds since the last time I stepped on a scale. Two years ago? Before Covid. Right. Covid. No wonder this gym is so deserted. Or maybe that’s how they do it here? Meaning they don’t do it. It = work out. They do seem to grown ‘em large in this city. No wonder. Donuts shops on every corner. Not exactly the most walkable town either. 

I hit the cardio room to fight off the pounds I’ll one day have no choice but to wear around my middle. But today’s not that day. Twenty minutes on the treadmill. Then lift some free weights. Then another sprint on the treadmill. Break it up. Shock your muscles. My rough math makes it 400 calories I’ve burned. Good enough, but to be sure I can eat an extra cookie after dinner, I jump rope for three minutes without stopping (still got it) until my chest feels like it’s having issues. The only people I see the entire time I’m going from room to room are old men who don’t move from the stationary bikes and one gymrat bro bench pressing. I practically have the place to myself.

Back in the locker room, I strip and step to the scale to see if the workout took anything off. A few ounces. A start! 

“That’s the way to do it,” says this old guy. The one who nodded at me.

“Huh?”

“Weigh yourself in a towel. Not with shoes and a bunch of shit in your pockets.”

“Oh, right.”

“You know, even the towel adds something.”

I laugh a little and deny him the peek at my cock he’s obviously hoping for. 

Hot shower. Real hot. Water in the condo doesn’t get this hot. And they have this nice smelling soap. Citrus and… is that coconut? Let’s take a moment to thank the owners. My old gym used this soap that smelled like high school. I’ll have to come here as much as possible. Jump start the day with a workout, then shower and head to the office. Lots of energy and smelling sweet. This is a new chapter. That’s why we moved here. 

What’s the fuck? Dude… the shower doors close. 

“See anything you like?” 

Almost my height. Better shape. Lots of tattoos and the arms to pull them off. Not like my wet noodles that’re already sore from three reps of curls. I’m not going to answer him. Not supposed to say anything. Don’t they know the unspoken law of locker rooms? 

Right. He would be using the locker by mine. Rubbing himself down more than drying himself off. And not taking his eyes off me. I mean, that’s how it feels. Like he’s eyeing me. Had his eye on me since I walked in, but that’s not possible, I know. I only saw him when I stepped out of the shower. The second guy to talk to me in the locker room when I just want to get dressed and go back to the condo and have breakfast, that is if she got up to make it. I could call her on the way home and tell her how much I worked out. Sure worked up an appetite. Anything to eat? Any chance for a plate of eggs and bacon? Any coffee, or should I pick some up? Who am I kidding.

“You’re hurt.”

I tell him no, it’s a weird birthmark that looks like a bruise. I’m fine. No, I’m sure. Really. Okay. See? Nothing. Been there for as long as I can remember. Weird, right? And weird place for it. It’s raised some eyebrows, yeah. What? No, man. Come on. What are you talking about? Hey, seriously. What if someone? Just a quick. Fine. Wait. No… this. Wait. Try. Okay. There. Better. Shhh. Maybe don’t say anything. Just. Yes. What do you? That? No. That? Okay. Quick. Slower. Okay… there. Yes.

I don’t bother calling to see if she’s made breakfast or coffee. I get some on the way home. Venti for me. Grande for her. And some croissants. Good enough breakfast. It’ll have to do. But I’m sure to be hungry again soon. Worked out too hard. Need more. Always.